Angry Puppy

Is it June yet?

In my madness, I’m waiting for the Buffy TPBs. The sane amongst us will rush out today to pick up Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8 #14: Wolves at the Gate.

The Scoobies’ mysterious new foes have obtained a powerful instrument that may destroy everything that Buffy has worked so hard to build. Acclaimed screenwriter, Drew Goddard (Lost, Cloverfield) continues his fun-filled romp through Tokyo with Wolves at the Gate part 3.

Writer: Drew Goddard
Artist: Georges Jeanty
Cover Artist: Jon Foster
Inker: Andy Owens
Colorist: Dave Stewart

I’ll just be here working on this Willow jigsaw puzzle.

Finally! Our two favorite g-words collide in one marvelous list! Here, now, for the first time ever is the list of our ten all-time favorite gay geeks. As always, please vote on your favorites and tell us who we missed in compiling this geek-tastic oeuvre!

#10 - Daffyd Thomas (Little Britain)
The only gay in the village is large enough to equal three gay geeks. The curious thing about Daffyd, deplorable wardrobe aside, is that he’s the only misfit on this list who appears to have carefully engineered his own outsider status. Our favorite Daffyd moment is, of course, his failed attempt to attend the local gay Trekkie meeting, when he chases off the competition so he can maintain his virtual gay throne. Our only complaint is that he doesn’t like DS9:

#9 - Velma Dinkley (Scooby Doo)
Velma, like Xena and Snagglepuss, is one of those characters who we all know is gay, even though it’s never been officially addressed. We adore Velma, the brains of the original Scooby gang, as much for her genius at building half-assed, ineffective monster traps as for her uncompromising fashion sense. I mean, it takes a lot of balls to pull off a giant shapeless orange turtleneck sweater and miniskirt combo. Jinkies!

#8 - Lotte Schwartz (Being John Malkovich)
Remember Cameron Diaz under all that hair and frumpy shapeless clothing? That was Cameron as Lotte the animal-lover geek and mousy victim of an unfaithful husband (who, incidentally, spent far too much time in someone else’s head). Poor Lotte. All she wanted out of life was to support her little menagerie of rescued critters. She had no intention of getting caught up in all that brain-invading business. But things ended very well for her, which is partly why we love that movie so damn much! Oh, why can’t our geek lives lead to raising strange children with Catherine Keener?

#7 - Lamar Latrell (Revenge of the Nerds)
Lee says: Lamar is the first gay character I remember seeing and being aware that he was gay. And I had one of those Michael Jackson jackets too. Coincidence?

These same skills later lead us all to vote NO ON 15!

#6 - Chuck Noblet (Strangers with Candy)
It’s clearly behoovy to mention that, even though the last episode of Strangers With Candy premiered in October 2000, we still can’t stop saying “behoovy,” the word coined by Stephen Colbert’s Chuck Noblet in the series finale. Chuck, the nemesis to everyone’s favorite stupid junkie whore, thinks he’s the big shot in control of every situation, including his secret love affair with Mr. Jellineck. Sadly though, Chuck’s as big of a geeky failure as the rest of the faculty, but we love his take on education. Sadly though, Chuck’s as big of a geeky failure as the rest of the faculty. But we love his take on education. In the second scene of this clip, Chuck shares his thoughts on John F. Kennedy’s assassination:

#5 - Waylon Smithers (The Simpsons)
Gotta love collector geeks! If we had space in our apartment, we’d cheerfully turn over a room to Buffy memorabilia. We’re already worried about where the Gallery of Gay Action Figures is going to end up if it keeps growing. Waylon’s hooked up, though. He’s got a house full of Malibu Stacy collectibles and is president of the Malibu Stacy Fan Club; all this despite his assertion that women and sea men don’t mix. Plus, he’s handy with computers and knows how to animate and program naked screen savers of his boss!

#4 - Andrew Wells (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
One of our earlier lists re-sparked the ongoing debate about Andrew’s sexuality over on Whedonesque, in which Joss himself jumped in seemingly disputing the lead argument in the Andrew-is-straight, um, argument. At the risk of rekindling that debate again (we know… too late) we honor Andrew with the #4 slot. When it comes to geekness Andrew wins hands down in the pointless geek knowledge division. Typical Andrew line: “Man, this place gives me the creeps. It’s like in Wonder Woman, issue 297–299.”

#3 - Dr. Toshiko Sato (Torchwood)
We loved actress Naoko Mori as the supergeeky Sarah in Ab Fab, especially after Patsy drove her insane in the later seasons. But even better is Mori’s performance as Torchwood’s bisexual techie geek, Tosh. If we were making this list before season 2, we’d probably rank her lower. But recent episodes, including her fascinating origin story, rocketed her up to number three.

#2 - Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
We’re thinking more early,computer-geek Willow than post-goth, wiccan Willow, and somewhere in the middle of that transition was the adorable geek-lesbian Willow. Willow’s a cool geek, because in her words she “makes her own fun”. What anyone thinks about that really is irrelevant to her. Plus, she has those adorable outfits. Remember the colorful cardigans when she was working the quirky hipster look? We’re so under your spell but somehow we have a feeling that, even if you were a real person, it just wouldn’t work out. Sigh…

#1. Brian and Steve (The Sarah Silverman Program)
We may aspire to be as cool as Willow but deep in our hearts, we know we’re Brian and Steve (except we don’t play Dungeons & Dragons, neither of us likes Tab, and we REALLY hate The Spin Doctors). They’re not just our favorite gay geeks, they may be our all-time favorite gay characters because they’re so wonderfully real and likable, and because their gayness really doesn’t matter at all. We love their commitment to gaming and their obsessions with stupid geeky things, and their geek friends are awfully fun too. Brian and Steve, we’re TOTALLY gay for you.

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Good ol’ Buffy… That show just keeps on giving.

In addition to our inclusion of two of the series regulars into our upcoming and illustrious list of Ten Favorite Gay Geeks, Kennedy becomes the third character from the series to be inducted into the Gallery of Gay Action Figures.

We love Kennedy for shaking Willow out of her post-Tara slump and filling her with love and joy and gushy, yummy feelings, all paving the way for Willow to become the magical white witch and kick those nosferatu wannabes back down the Hellmouth’s stinky gullet.

The Guild is a web sitcom about a group of gamers who make up The Knights of Good in a World-of-Warcraft-style MMORPG. The moments of character development that pop up here and there add a lot to the series, so I’ll hold back on describing the characters:

• Codex is a little like Willow without the witchcraft. Or the lesbianism. The episodes mostly revolve around her, and each one opens with a short and funny (to those of us who make our own fun) entry in her web-cam diary.
• ZABOO’s mis-interpretation an emoticon (and the ensuing crush) drive a lot of the plot. If I were 10 years younger and a foot shorter, I think I’d have a little crush on him myself. Well, at least up until episode 5 or so. Do you remember how Sarah, Saffy’s friend from Absolutely Fabulous, played by Torchwood’s Naoko Mori, went from sweet, shy girl to raving lunatic over the course of the show? It’s sort of like that. Here’s a sapphic Sarah clip if you haven’t seen it (you haven’t seen it?):

• BLADEZZ is the guild’s rogue and does his best to live up to his avatar.
• Vork is the leader of the guild. He’s older than the others and kind of creepy, IMHO.
• Clara is an absent-minded, pleasantly plump, mother of three who became my favorite character after about the fourth episode. You should see the way she treats those kids!
• TINKERBALLA, who always has a Nintendo DS in hand, is what you would call “fierce” or “bitchy”, depending on your social leanings. You should see the way she treats Clara’s kids!

At the beginning of the series, the guild members have still never met IRL, but in “Episode 3: The Macro Problem”, they have brunch face-to-face to discuss a guild problem: BLADEZZ had been banned for spamming a chat room with “fag”. He literally LOLs the whole situation, but I think the series itself stayed well on the funnier side of offensive. It upsets Vork because he wants to maintain The Knights of Good’s untarnished reputation for, well, good. Codex objects that it’s “not cool” and that her father had “turned gay”.

“And her ex-boyfriend too,” quips Clare.

Here’s “Episode 1: The Wake-Up Call”:

There are currently eight episodes available, but the official website says:

We’ve taken our Paypal donate button down for Season 1. Thank you so much to each and every donor! As soon as preparations are made for Season 2 we will replace it!

If Felicia Day, who plays Codex, looks familiar to you, it might be because she also played a slayerette named Vi in a little TV show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You can’t say Joss Whedon isn’t loyal to his actors: she’ll be starring in his upcoming musical web series Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog with Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion.

[Via Slate Cultural Gabfest]

I’m sure you’ve heard by now that Buffy and Satsu get together in issue #12 of Season 8. For whatever reason, this got picked up by the mainstream media and was all over the internet, so I’m not calling it a spoiler. In fact, ” buffy season 8 #12 ” was by far our biggest Google search term yesterday, so I think it’s fairly safe to assume that this is news to few by now.

Here’s the panel that’s been floating around online:

Some people are hoping that this will open the door to a Willow/Buffy relationship. Besides the fact that I don’t ever want to read the words “Wuffy” or “Billow,” let me add an un-qualified “ew”. They’re like sisters, and I don’t want to have those images in my head.

As for the critics who think it’s just a marketing ploy to get teenage boys to read the comic, let me speak for Buffy fans for a moment: this series was among the first of any genre to show a loving lesbian couple on prime time TV, so only the uninitiated would think that Whedon (et al) are suddenly jumping on some gay bandwagon.

I haven’t read this issue yet (still waiting for the TPB), but it seems like a natural progression to me. All signs indicate that Buffy is not now lesbian or even bi, but rather, she was simply lonely and Satsu’s feelings for her were no secret. I just need to decide whether or not bi-curiosity earns you a place in the Gallery of Gay Action Figures.

Your thoughts?