Angry Puppy

Goichi Suda (known as Suda 51), CEO of Grasshopper Manufacture, which gave us No More Heroes for the Wii, recently said:

I want to make a Super Mario game for adults…Maybe Mario could wear an Italian suit and have a machine gun…But Nintendo probably wouldn’t like that idea.

I have nothing against game violence, guns in games, gore or any of that. In fact, I can’t wait for Ninja Gaiden II, which, judging by screenshots, will be a gore-fest where enemies will keep fighting despite trails of blood in the air after you’ve severed a limb or two.

But I am uncomfortable with the implication that somehow Mario (and Nintendo in general) is for kids, while adults like to shoot things with guns. If you want my honest opinion, I find games like Super Mario Galaxy more sophisticated and “adult” than half of the FPSes that I’ve played where you just wander around shooting mutated somethings.

I know that it was just a throwaway comment, but it’s a touchy subject. I even had to convince my oh-so-open-minded boyfriend that Nintendo is not just for old ladies and pre-teen boys. (Still working on it, actually.)

Of course, if they released Super Mario Cartel and gave Mario a machine gun, I’d play it.

You can see a preview of what Mario gun action would look like in this Halo/Mario mashup:

Via Kotaku

The Kaizo Mario video I posted reminded me of this Flash game, which would be addictive if there were more levels. These are your only instructions:

“Click stairs and move.
The 16th floor is a goal.
Cooperate by oneself ?!”

And how thoughtful! When you get to the end, it wishes you a happy new year. 133 FTW!

If you want to make a recording of a game level, you might splice together several different attempts to get one clean run.  At Mechanically Separated Meat, they’ve posted a video showing what happens if, instead of rewinding and splicing, you superimpose all 134 attempts made to get through level 1 of Kaizo Mario World.

The effect is like what used to happen on the TNG Enterprise when divergent timelines were exploding out of themselves.  Or like playing on acid.

The concept alone produces a surprisingly hypnotic result, but the game choice is not accidental. Kaizo Mario World, which translates as something like Hacked Mario World, is so impossibly difficult that the guy who created it nicknamed it “Asshole Mario.” Since most of the fun in watching someone play is in seeing him fail again and again until he figures out the trick, this is a lot more interesting than watching a clean run-through.

I like how you can almost see decisions “pulse” out from the center Mario before the whole mass surges forward, dropping the ones who made bad choices. If you think of it as real-time, simultaneous play instead of overlays, this must be what it’s like for Midnighter when he calculates all the millions of possible scenarios of a battle before making a decision. Neat.

Here’s a link to Kaizo Super Mario being played without the overlays.  It’s dull up to the 0:56 minute mark, which is a simple, yet elegant moment in hacking assholism.

Via Kotaku

Has any mascot been abused as much as Mario?  Forced to play doctor, tennis star and pro go-kart racer - anything to keep Nintendo afloat during those lean years.  They even stuck his sprite in some other character’s game for Super Mario Bros. II.  This week alone I’ve come across several particularly egregious Mario abuses.

• Mario: Game Over - Oh, that’s what they meant by Mushroom Kingdom. [NSFW?]
• Mario Big Band - In Japanese. Can anyone translate this?
• Mario Halo - This seems too dangerous for a guy who usually hangs out in the Mushroom Kingdom.
• Mario Metroid - This is a little more sane.
• Mario by Hand -This guy has too much time on his hands,but, yeah, I’m jealous.
• Mario on Ice - No. Mr. Belvedere as Bowser? No. Jason Bateman on crack? No. Alyssa Milano? Just no.