Angry Puppy

At long last, we present our list of the 9 Greatest Gay and Bi Female Characters in Sci-Fi/Geekdom. As usual, pick your top three and let us know in the comments where you think we got it right and where we got it wrong.

#9 - Maxine Lund (Being John Malkovich)
We knew from the opening moments in which we met her, hunched over as she dodged the low ceilings of LesterCorp, that this hard-edged, no-nonsense babe had a buried heart of gold. Watching her transformation from manipulatrix to heart-warming lesbian mom is one of the best things in a film that’s loaded with best things. It’s also fun watching her try to grasp who it is exactly that she’s in love with in this highly complex gender-blending story.

#8 - Mystique (X-Men comics)
We’ve seen so many iterations of her over the years that it’s hard to know who’s the real Mystique. But then, that’s the point of the character, isn’t it? It was (barely) clear from the beginning that Mystique had a special relationship with Destiny. That was unusual enough in the early 80’s but even today she’s one of the few bisexual characters in mainstream comics. She certainly qualifies as interesting - good, bad, who knows what the hell she wants? And, of course, Rebecca Romijn stole the show with her portrayal in the X-Men films; too bad the bisexuality didn’t carry over.

#7 - Inara Serra (Firefly)
While we never had the chance to find out whether Inara was bisexual by preference or just professionally, we dig her cool, gorgeous Companion self. We didn’t meet many other of these highly respected courtesans, but we can’t imagine that very many of them were as beautiful or as well grounded as Inara, the rock in the Firefly storm.

#6 -  Rear Admiral Cain (Battlestar Galactica)
While not exactly the most pleasant officer in the colonial fleet, Cain was unquestionably a great character, who so brilliantly illustrated how the story of the Galactica could have turned out with a different personality at the helm. She meant well for her crew, and even the future of humanity, but somewhere along the way she crossed, well, a few lines. But, damn, was she entertaining! Re-live Admiral Cain’s downfall (in a nutshell) set to “The Imperial March” from Star Wars in this clip. ‘Cause, um, why not?

#5 -  Jadzia Dax (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)
OK, we’re obsessed. We admit it. Setting aside the tremendous honor we bestowed upon her earlier this year, we also love the way her character is written. Jadzia is given dialog and reactions that a male character would traditionally get, and Terry Farrell delivers both with ease. We love that she’s a big ol’ science geek, and she’s the no-nonsense friend to everyone in the universe’s favorite space mall.

#4 -  Æon Flux (Æon Flux)
As with Mystique, we should specify that this is the bisexual Æon Flux of the animated series and not the non-bisexual character of the live-action film. We love both, but no live actors could move like our favorite lanky terrorist no matter how much CGI is thrown at them. Æon Flux is not a little scary, but she’s cool as hell. Not only do we wish we could move like her, we also wish we could pull off that outfit.

#3 - Number Six (Battlestar Galactica)

Anyone whose spine glows red during a three-way with Baltar and Xena is an instant winner in our book. And, my gods, she’s hot. I mean HOT. Yes, we totally see how Baltar became a party to the near-genocide of the human race for this woman. In fact, if anyone’s going to turn us straight it’s Six. And we’ll take any of them. Or better yet, several of them.

#2 - Hazel McNamara and Foxglove (Sandman)

We love so many things about this pair, who are just a hair’s breadth away from being the greatest lesbian characters in our favorite genres, but we mostly love how real they are. Hazel and Foxglove aren’t superhuman or extraordinary, but their lives are repeatedly intertwined with what neighbor Barbie’s former housemate Rose once referred to as “weird shit”. Watching their relationship progress over the life of the Sandman series was awesome in the early 90’s when authentic LGBT characters in comics were unheard of. But the real treat was their center-stage involvement in the two Death spinoff series. Kudos, Mr. Gaiman, and thank you for the many years of terrific lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans characters!

#1 - Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Oh, like you’re surprised. After taking second place here, we’re so excited to give Willow a long-deserved #1 position in one of our many silly lists. Both computer geek AND mega-powerful witch, Willow rocks our world on so many levels we don’t know where to begin. She’s cute, she’s smart, she’s magic, she makes her own fun, and she can make her girlfriend float in the air during musical numbers about having sex. She even has an evil, sadistic dominatrix twin in another dimension (with hands in new places!) who was bisexual long before Willow met Tara. We’re so glad her adventures are continuing in the Buffy comics and look forward to being under her spell for years to come.

 Loading ...

We didn’t mean to do it, but Joss Whedon turns up a lot in this week’s episode:

• Headlines: Sarah Michelle Gellar’s favorite male roles, Doctor Horrible gets a trailer
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 8, Volume 2: “No Future for You” and “Anywhere but Here”
• The Astonishing X-Men: Volume 4; Also Whedon.
• Pride High; No Whedon.
• Doctor Who: “Silence in the Library”
• Solar Flare; Yeah we also found a Whedon reference there somehow.
• Wonder Showzen
• Frameline: The Polymath, or, The Life and Opinions of Samuel R. Delany, Gentleman
• The 9 Greatest Bi and Gay Female Characters in the Sci-Fi/Geek World

All this and Marc’s tour of San Francisco comics shops.

In case you haven’t seen it, here’s the trailer for Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog that we mention in the episode:

Originally published on AfterElton.com.

Science fiction offers a number of explicitly gay and bi female leading characters, leading transgender and/or gender-fluid characters, peripheral gay and bi male characters, and male leads who are hinted at being gay or bi. Think Willow, Tara and Kennedy (Buffy); Inara (Firefly); Admiral Cain and Number Six (Battlestar Galactica); Karma, Destiny and Mystique (X-Men); Jadzia Dax (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine); and Desire, Hazel, Foxglove and Wanda (Sandman).

Many lead male characters would qualify as bi or gay, requiring either their own expressed awareness of their sexual identity or significant enough mention by others.  Think Boone Carlyle (Lost), who was posthumously mentioned to be bi; Albus Dumbledore, outed outside the pages of Harry Potter; Angel and Spike (Buffy) acknowledging an unexplained past sexual relationship; and Jekyll and Hyde (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen), both implicitly gay or bi.

But even allowing for the broadest possible definition of “science fiction”, and even expanding the search across TV, film, comics, and video games, this isn’t an easy list to compile. One assumes that the folks behind the sci fi genre, depending on their audience of mostly young straight guys, are consequently timid about fronting their stories with lead gay men, yet comfortable offering lesbians, bi women, and trans characters who mostly have an “excuse,” e.g. alien physiology, shape-shifting, body swapping. Where are all the gay men in this often progressive and thought-provoking genre that otherwise so freely explores social issues in its safely buffered fantasy context?

Dear Star Trek, thanks for forty years of nothing. Yours truly, the Gays.

After scouring decades of major franchises and lesser-known titles, we came up with the following list of the greatest gay and bi male characters. Great characters are defined by the virtues of being unique, fascinating, and greatly significant. In the interest of making these qualities the true DNA of the list, we ignored qualities like fan favorites, sexiness and best gay representations.

#10 - Andrew Wells (Buffy the Vampire Slayer; TV & comics)

Barely qualifying is Andrew from the Buffy and Angel TV series and the current Buffy comics. Surprisingly, the famously gay-friendly series gave us this consistently inuendoed gay (or bisexual?) character, who, despite a wealth of references to his crush on fellow villain Warren and lack of interest in sexy Slayerettes, never quite acknowledges his own awareness of his sexuality, which is also seemingly ignored by the other characters. The geek-turned-villain-turned-good-guy scores points for delivering a lot of the best lines, turning what could have been a standard clichéd geek archetype into a three-dimensional and genuinely likeable queer sidekick. In its first printing, this list was picked up by fansite Whedonesque, where Joss Whedon himself weighed in on the controversy:

“Andrew’s sexuality is always on the cusp of self-awareness because Andrew is stunted emotionally and because it’s hilarious.”

Character Rating 9/10
Significance Rating 2/10
Originality Rating 5/10

#9 - The Cluracan (Sandman; comics)

1989 saw the birth of Neil Gaiman’s extraordinary and historic comic series, The Sandman, which aside from being a critical success and the only comic book to ever make the New York Times Bestseller List, was revolutionary for its time in its presentation of multiple positive LGBT characters. In addition to leading lesbian and transgender characters, The Cluracan was a frequently recurring minor character, though he scores big points for being endlessly fun and uncompromisingly gay in all his appearances. Based on the clurichaun, a drunk leprechaun of Irish folklore, this literal faerie and dashing rogue of Queen Titania’s court frequently indulges in his twin favorite pastimes of drinking and having sex. But, the principle theme of the series is that of storytelling and stories-come-to-life, and the Cluracan can spin a yarn like nobody’s business. Give him a couple drinks and he’ll entertain for as long as he’s conscious, charmingly admitting his own narcissism and tendency towards embellishment.

Character Rating 10/10
Significance Rating 4/10
Originality Rating 6/10

#8 - Parthenon, aka Dan Williams (Who Wants to Be a Superhero?; TV)

The gay contender in Season Two of Sci Fi Channel’s competitive reality series, Who Wants To Be A Superhero scores big points for being a real guy who managed to survive a long time in a reality show based on a genre that is historically not gay-friendly. Hopes were not high following the ousting of season one’s gay entry, Levity, in the pilot episode. Parthenon winning the chance to call his partner, and seeing this paralleled against a straight woman doing the same, was an awesome site to behold. Unfortunately, the character is a little heavy on the clichés: archaeologist finds ancient gauntlet whose gemstones provide superpowers.  Tights and cape ensue. While we love the big P’s generous and benevolent character, he’s gotta work out some better catchphrases than “Bling’s my thing” and “Rock on.”

Character Rating 5/10
Significance Rating 7/10
Originality Rating 3/10

#7 - Ianto Jones (Torchwood; TV)

Alas poor neglected Ianto. Any other sexy bisexual character on national television would be a gay household name, but the competition’s tough when most of the cast, including the lead, are also bi (not to mention sexy). Ianto’s role at Torchwood is intriguing; in addition to playing receptionist and chief coffee brewer, Ianto is also the clean-up guy who neatly disposes of alien kills and covers up team activities to keep the public and authorities from learning about Torchwood’s creepy and occasionally distasteful secrets. Early on we learn that Ianto has a nasty secret in the form of a half-Cyberman (evil cyborg) girlfriend that he’s keeping in the sub-basement of the Torchwood HQ. Needless to say, things don’t work out so well in the most bloody sense imaginable, and Ianto takes on a much less lethal sexual relationship with studly team leader Captain Jack Harkness.

Character Rating 7/10
Significance Rating 5/10
Originality Rating 7/10 Read the rest of this entry »

We recently named Jadzia Dax our #1 Character We Most Want To Party With, and even her action figure makes us happy!

Forget about the fact that without her, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine would be about as fun as a space mall; taken in her own right she’s spent over 300 years as both a man and a woman and done everything imaginable.

She’s also the most interesting addition to the Gallery of Gay Action Figures on account of her sexuality being the most complicated. Jadzia Dax is a male symbiote currently residing in a female body, but because she carries the memories and experiences of her seven previous hosts (male and female) and is attracted to both genders, Dax qualifies as both bisexual and transgender.

#10 - Hiro Nakamura
Okay so he’s not so much the biggest party animal, or, who knows, maybe he is? But for some reason our favorite sword-wielding Hero makes the list - we think maybe because anyone who can be that cheerful in the face of death would be a fun addition to any party.

#9 - Faith
Our second favorite Vampire Slayer beats out the show’s eponymous heroine thanks to a chaotic and cavalier world-view, and she’s got the moves on the dance floor to back it up. And isn’t sex always more exciting when there’s a possibility you’re going to get killed in the process - n’est ce pas, Xander? Also Buffy has not such a great track record with parties… see: various Halloween parties, frat parties, and of course most of her birthdays.

#8 - Hurley
Whether or not the party in question is on the Lost island, you can count on Hurley to bring the best snacks and provide all the best lines. Of course any normal house party is going to beat an island party featuring Dharma pretzels, ranch dressing, and stale VW bus beer, but for the wit alone we’ll take Hurley anywhere.

#7 - Hedonismbot
Possibly the only character in history who was actually designed exclusively with partying in mind. We have to imagine that the early 31st century will have been a far less fun place without everyone’s favorite gold-plated Dionysian mechano-man.

#6 - Jack Burton
It’s Han Solo as an 80’s truck driver battling ancient evil in what appears to be an underground Miami shopping mall in San Francisco’s Little China! Only Kurt Russell at his sexiest could deliver on this character who’s several kinds of big trouble and bad attitude wrapped in a tank top. And hey if he’s good enough for Kim Cattrall he’s good enough for us.

#5 - Spike
Are we thinking soulless Spike or re-ensouled Spike? Hmm… best not to answer that. Either way we’ll take the prince of the black leather duster, always ready for a good time with his flask of bourbon at the ready. We’d start the evening with a back-room card game (for kittens of course) followed by a bar brawl and a ride on the back of his hog. Mmmm, good times.

#4 - Starbuck
Sorry Dirk Benedict, we mean the new one. She can drink almost anyone under the table, and if we’re going to have to pay for an evening of debauchery with a night in the brig, we might as well spend it with the hottest person in the Colonial military. We don’t know whether or not she’s a Cylon, but the Cylons seem to have a pretty good time what with Basestars full of kinky threeways and so forth.

#3 - Bender Bending Rodriguez
And the winner of any drinking contest would of course be everyone’s favorite alcohol-fueled kleptomaniac robot, who brings the party to him, thanks to his bad attitude and seemingly bottomless chest cavity. Any evening spent hanging out with Bender means you end up with empty pockets and a splitting headache, but that’s pretty much true of any good night out and at least Bender’s likely to destroy half his surroundings in the process.

#2 - Captain Jack Harkness
But who needs the 31st century, if everyone in the 51st century is really as fun as our favorite time-traveling bisexual dude. The Doctor tells us sexuality is a non-issue for a guy who allegedly sleeps with dozens of random alien races, and from what we’ve seen he knows how to treat a guy. And a girl. And a… whatever. Sure makes us wish we were in Ianto’s shoes.

#1 - Jadzia Dax
Where to begin… Jadzia makes her own party, and with 300 years of wild experiences as both a man and a woman, JD’s seen and done it all. Let’s face it, Starfleet crews are fun to watch when they’re furiously reversing something’s polarity, but they aren’t exactly the first people we’d want at our party - actually they’d pretty much be the last, just ahead of The Lone Gunmen and C-3PO. She leaves the baggage behind in favor of whatever’s handy and fun… blood wine, dabo games, wild Klingon sex, whatever. Of course she’s too coy to own up to everything, but she’s dropped enough hints over time to add up to her being our #1 person we want to party with.

 Loading ...