Angry Puppy

Is it June yet?

In my madness, I’m waiting for the Buffy TPBs. The sane amongst us will rush out today to pick up Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8 #14: Wolves at the Gate.

The Scoobies’ mysterious new foes have obtained a powerful instrument that may destroy everything that Buffy has worked so hard to build. Acclaimed screenwriter, Drew Goddard (Lost, Cloverfield) continues his fun-filled romp through Tokyo with Wolves at the Gate part 3.

Writer: Drew Goddard
Artist: Georges Jeanty
Cover Artist: Jon Foster
Inker: Andy Owens
Colorist: Dave Stewart

I’ll just be here working on this Willow jigsaw puzzle.

Finally! Our two favorite g-words collide in one marvelous list! Here, now, for the first time ever is the list of our ten all-time favorite gay geeks. As always, please vote on your favorites and tell us who we missed in compiling this geek-tastic oeuvre!

#10 - Daffyd Thomas (Little Britain)
The only gay in the village is large enough to equal three gay geeks. The curious thing about Daffyd, deplorable wardrobe aside, is that he’s the only misfit on this list who appears to have carefully engineered his own outsider status. Our favorite Daffyd moment is, of course, his failed attempt to attend the local gay Trekkie meeting, when he chases off the competition so he can maintain his virtual gay throne. Our only complaint is that he doesn’t like DS9:

#9 - Velma Dinkley (Scooby Doo)
Velma, like Xena and Snagglepuss, is one of those characters who we all know is gay, even though it’s never been officially addressed. We adore Velma, the brains of the original Scooby gang, as much for her genius at building half-assed, ineffective monster traps as for her uncompromising fashion sense. I mean, it takes a lot of balls to pull off a giant shapeless orange turtleneck sweater and miniskirt combo. Jinkies!

#8 - Lotte Schwartz (Being John Malkovich)
Remember Cameron Diaz under all that hair and frumpy shapeless clothing? That was Cameron as Lotte the animal-lover geek and mousy victim of an unfaithful husband (who, incidentally, spent far too much time in someone else’s head). Poor Lotte. All she wanted out of life was to support her little menagerie of rescued critters. She had no intention of getting caught up in all that brain-invading business. But things ended very well for her, which is partly why we love that movie so damn much! Oh, why can’t our geek lives lead to raising strange children with Catherine Keener?

#7 - Lamar Latrell (Revenge of the Nerds)
Lee says: Lamar is the first gay character I remember seeing and being aware that he was gay. And I had one of those Michael Jackson jackets too. Coincidence?

These same skills later lead us all to vote NO ON 15!

#6 - Chuck Noblet (Strangers with Candy)
It’s clearly behoovy to mention that, even though the last episode of Strangers With Candy premiered in October 2000, we still can’t stop saying “behoovy,” the word coined by Stephen Colbert’s Chuck Noblet in the series finale. Chuck, the nemesis to everyone’s favorite stupid junkie whore, thinks he’s the big shot in control of every situation, including his secret love affair with Mr. Jellineck. Sadly though, Chuck’s as big of a geeky failure as the rest of the faculty, but we love his take on education. Sadly though, Chuck’s as big of a geeky failure as the rest of the faculty. But we love his take on education. In the second scene of this clip, Chuck shares his thoughts on John F. Kennedy’s assassination:

#5 - Waylon Smithers (The Simpsons)
Gotta love collector geeks! If we had space in our apartment, we’d cheerfully turn over a room to Buffy memorabilia. We’re already worried about where the Gallery of Gay Action Figures is going to end up if it keeps growing. Waylon’s hooked up, though. He’s got a house full of Malibu Stacy collectibles and is president of the Malibu Stacy Fan Club; all this despite his assertion that women and sea men don’t mix. Plus, he’s handy with computers and knows how to animate and program naked screen savers of his boss!

#4 - Andrew Wells (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
One of our earlier lists re-sparked the ongoing debate about Andrew’s sexuality over on Whedonesque, in which Joss himself jumped in seemingly disputing the lead argument in the Andrew-is-straight, um, argument. At the risk of rekindling that debate again (we know… too late) we honor Andrew with the #4 slot. When it comes to geekness Andrew wins hands down in the pointless geek knowledge division. Typical Andrew line: “Man, this place gives me the creeps. It’s like in Wonder Woman, issue 297–299.”

#3 - Dr. Toshiko Sato (Torchwood)
We loved actress Naoko Mori as the supergeeky Sarah in Ab Fab, especially after Patsy drove her insane in the later seasons. But even better is Mori’s performance as Torchwood’s bisexual techie geek, Tosh. If we were making this list before season 2, we’d probably rank her lower. But recent episodes, including her fascinating origin story, rocketed her up to number three.

#2 - Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
We’re thinking more early,computer-geek Willow than post-goth, wiccan Willow, and somewhere in the middle of that transition was the adorable geek-lesbian Willow. Willow’s a cool geek, because in her words she “makes her own fun”. What anyone thinks about that really is irrelevant to her. Plus, she has those adorable outfits. Remember the colorful cardigans when she was working the quirky hipster look? We’re so under your spell but somehow we have a feeling that, even if you were a real person, it just wouldn’t work out. Sigh…

#1. Brian and Steve (The Sarah Silverman Program)
We may aspire to be as cool as Willow but deep in our hearts, we know we’re Brian and Steve (except we don’t play Dungeons & Dragons, neither of us likes Tab, and we REALLY hate The Spin Doctors). They’re not just our favorite gay geeks, they may be our all-time favorite gay characters because they’re so wonderfully real and likable, and because their gayness really doesn’t matter at all. We love their commitment to gaming and their obsessions with stupid geeky things, and their geek friends are awfully fun too. Brian and Steve, we’re TOTALLY gay for you.

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Good ol’ Buffy… That show just keeps on giving.

In addition to our inclusion of two of the series regulars into our upcoming and illustrious list of Ten Favorite Gay Geeks, Kennedy becomes the third character from the series to be inducted into the Gallery of Gay Action Figures.

We love Kennedy for shaking Willow out of her post-Tara slump and filling her with love and joy and gushy, yummy feelings, all paving the way for Willow to become the magical white witch and kick those nosferatu wannabes back down the Hellmouth’s stinky gullet.

The Guild is a web sitcom about a group of gamers who make up The Knights of Good in a World-of-Warcraft-style MMORPG. The moments of character development that pop up here and there add a lot to the series, so I’ll hold back on describing the characters:

• Codex is a little like Willow without the witchcraft. Or the lesbianism. The episodes mostly revolve around her, and each one opens with a short and funny (to those of us who make our own fun) entry in her web-cam diary.
• ZABOO’s mis-interpretation an emoticon (and the ensuing crush) drive a lot of the plot. If I were 10 years younger and a foot shorter, I think I’d have a little crush on him myself. Well, at least up until episode 5 or so. Do you remember how Sarah, Saffy’s friend from Absolutely Fabulous, played by Torchwood’s Naoko Mori, went from sweet, shy girl to raving lunatic over the course of the show? It’s sort of like that. Here’s a sapphic Sarah clip if you haven’t seen it (you haven’t seen it?):

• BLADEZZ is the guild’s rogue and does his best to live up to his avatar.
• Vork is the leader of the guild. He’s older than the others and kind of creepy, IMHO.
• Clara is an absent-minded, pleasantly plump, mother of three who became my favorite character after about the fourth episode. You should see the way she treats those kids!
• TINKERBALLA, who always has a Nintendo DS in hand, is what you would call “fierce” or “bitchy”, depending on your social leanings. You should see the way she treats Clara’s kids!

At the beginning of the series, the guild members have still never met IRL, but in “Episode 3: The Macro Problem”, they have brunch face-to-face to discuss a guild problem: BLADEZZ had been banned for spamming a chat room with “fag”. He literally LOLs the whole situation, but I think the series itself stayed well on the funnier side of offensive. It upsets Vork because he wants to maintain The Knights of Good’s untarnished reputation for, well, good. Codex objects that it’s “not cool” and that her father had “turned gay”.

“And her ex-boyfriend too,” quips Clare.

Here’s “Episode 1: The Wake-Up Call”:

There are currently eight episodes available, but the official website says:

We’ve taken our Paypal donate button down for Season 1. Thank you so much to each and every donor! As soon as preparations are made for Season 2 we will replace it!

If Felicia Day, who plays Codex, looks familiar to you, it might be because she also played a slayerette named Vi in a little TV show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You can’t say Joss Whedon isn’t loyal to his actors: she’ll be starring in his upcoming musical web series Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog with Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion.

[Via Slate Cultural Gabfest]

What more can we say, really? Inspired by the sexy dad on the new series The Sarah Jane Adventures, here’s our list.

For the record we left out a couple of the perhaps more obvious choices on account of weird political stuff mixed up in either the actors or the characters or works themselves (e.g., Tom Cruise’s Ray Ferrier from War of the Worlds, or a couple of the guys from 300). As always we want to know whether you agree, disagree, and especially want to know if we missed anyone!

#10 - Jonathan Kent from Smallville (John Schneider)

Some of us still haven’t quite worked that Dukes of Hazzard crush out of our system, but we have to say this: the guy really ages well.

#9 - Mike Donovan from V (Marc Singer)

Oh, Beastmaster, save us from the evil lizard people and their not at all fun dinner plans!

#8 - D.L. Hawkins from Heroes (Leonard Roberts)

Oh, no, there’s someone in our room, but how can that be when we left the door locked? Oh, it’s you. Well, hello.

#7 - Jack Bauer from 24 (Kiefer Sutherland)

Now for the first time we finally understand the purpose of Kim Bauer’s character… so Jack could qualify for this list!

#6 - Alan Jackson from The Sarah Jane Adventures (Joseph Millson)

And why exactly is he divorced? Is it really about his babbling, self-centered ex-wife, or could it be…? (Please let him be gay, please let him be gay, please let him be gay.)

#5 - Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel (David Boreanaz)

We love our dark, brooding anti-heroes. And when Hamlet’s not available we turn to our favorite vampire with the cool coat and the occasional brogue.

#4 - Wolverine from The Uncanny X-Men

Snikt.

#3 - George Lutz from The Amityville Horror (James Brolin - 1979 & Ryan Reynolds - 2005)

Curiously the character of Lutz lands on the number three spot due to the two guys who played him most memorably, and not at all because of the real George Lutz. Sorry, dude.

#2 - Jin-Soo Kwon from Lost (Daniel Dae Kim)

Now that he’s a soon-to-be dad (and finally treating Sun right) we proudly crown Jin with the number two spot. Does anyone know how to say “come down to the bunker for a minute” in Korean?

#1 - Karl “Helo” Agathon from Battlestar Galactica (Tahmoh Penikett)

This show has a number of attractive guys but we like Agathon’s offbeat good looks the best, and eagerly await the chance to see more of him in Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse.

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