And now, in his own words, the eminently quotable Oscar Wilde.
“Anybody can make history. Only a great man can write it.”
“It is through art, and through art only, that we can realize our perfection; through art and art only that we can shield ourselves from the sordid perils of actual existence.”
“Art persists, it timelessly continues.”
“There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”
“To define is to limit.”
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the Gallery of Gay Action Figures.
Wow she’s hot.
Not just the character (who’s also hot), but the action figure. We think it’s the belt. The high-heel boots don’t hurt either, though I’m at a loss to understand how anyone can fight crime in something that impractical.
We’re so glad DC decided to bring back a sexy character like Batwoman as a lesbian, and not, say, Element Girl.
Welcome to the Gallery of Gay Action Figures, Batwoman!
We could go on and on about South Park’s resident leather daddy and everyone’s favorite bottom. But let us not overlook the greatest action figure accessories EVER!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Mr. Slave action figure comes with Lemmiwinks, Cattatafish, and the Frog Prince. If you don’t know who Lemmiwinks is then you haven’t seen the South Park Season 6 episode “Death Camp of Tolerance” (which you should be rushing out to buy right now instead of sitting here reading this).
Mr. Slave is quite fetching in his black leather chaps, vest and cap. His low-cut tank top affords a lovely view of his abundant chest hair.
Mr. Slave looks distraught. As well he should; sadly there’s no option to return Cattatafish and the Frog Prince to their rightful home. While Slave’s intolerance of himself won’t earn him a place in the Museum of Tolerance, it does afford him a home in the Gallery of Gay Action Figures.
I’m under your spell. Nothing I can do, you just took my soul with you. You worked your charm so well, finally I knew, everything I dreamed was true. You made me believe.
Somehow when Tara sings it, everything sounds all magical and sexual and awesome, but when we say it, we sound like big gay dorks.
Oh, wait.
Well, we don’t care. We love Tara! And we’re real sorry that she’s dead, but her action figure lives on forever in our gallery (even if it doesn’t look much like Amber Benson)!
Hurray! Wicca good and love the earth and women power, and we’ll be over here!
Selma Bouvier’s twin sister Patty is perhaps better known as Marge Simpson’s lesbian sister. You know, the one who almost accidentally married a transgender golf pro. Well, he wasn’t really transgender, but… You know, not the one with the iguana.
When Patty finally came out in early 2005, her action figure earned a place in our hearts, but more importantly it also earned a place in the Gallery of Gay Action Figures.
Here’s to the first action figure honoring surly, nicotine-addicted, lesbian DMV employees. May she be the first of many.
And now, in his own words, the eminently quotable Oscar Wilde.
