Angry Puppy

At long last, we present our list of the 9 Greatest Gay and Bi Female Characters in Sci-Fi/Geekdom. As usual, pick your top three and let us know in the comments where you think we got it right and where we got it wrong.

#9 - Maxine Lund (Being John Malkovich)
We knew from the opening moments in which we met her, hunched over as she dodged the low ceilings of LesterCorp, that this hard-edged, no-nonsense babe had a buried heart of gold. Watching her transformation from manipulatrix to heart-warming lesbian mom is one of the best things in a film that’s loaded with best things. It’s also fun watching her try to grasp who it is exactly that she’s in love with in this highly complex gender-blending story.

#8 - Mystique (X-Men comics)
We’ve seen so many iterations of her over the years that it’s hard to know who’s the real Mystique. But then, that’s the point of the character, isn’t it? It was (barely) clear from the beginning that Mystique had a special relationship with Destiny. That was unusual enough in the early 80’s but even today she’s one of the few bisexual characters in mainstream comics. She certainly qualifies as interesting - good, bad, who knows what the hell she wants? And, of course, Rebecca Romijn stole the show with her portrayal in the X-Men films; too bad the bisexuality didn’t carry over.

#7 - Inara Serra (Firefly)
While we never had the chance to find out whether Inara was bisexual by preference or just professionally, we dig her cool, gorgeous Companion self. We didn’t meet many other of these highly respected courtesans, but we can’t imagine that very many of them were as beautiful or as well grounded as Inara, the rock in the Firefly storm.

#6 -  Rear Admiral Cain (Battlestar Galactica)
While not exactly the most pleasant officer in the colonial fleet, Cain was unquestionably a great character, who so brilliantly illustrated how the story of the Galactica could have turned out with a different personality at the helm. She meant well for her crew, and even the future of humanity, but somewhere along the way she crossed, well, a few lines. But, damn, was she entertaining! Re-live Admiral Cain’s downfall (in a nutshell) set to “The Imperial March” from Star Wars in this clip. ‘Cause, um, why not?

#5 -  Jadzia Dax (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)
OK, we’re obsessed. We admit it. Setting aside the tremendous honor we bestowed upon her earlier this year, we also love the way her character is written. Jadzia is given dialog and reactions that a male character would traditionally get, and Terry Farrell delivers both with ease. We love that she’s a big ol’ science geek, and she’s the no-nonsense friend to everyone in the universe’s favorite space mall.

#4 -  Æon Flux (Æon Flux)
As with Mystique, we should specify that this is the bisexual Æon Flux of the animated series and not the non-bisexual character of the live-action film. We love both, but no live actors could move like our favorite lanky terrorist no matter how much CGI is thrown at them. Æon Flux is not a little scary, but she’s cool as hell. Not only do we wish we could move like her, we also wish we could pull off that outfit.

#3 - Number Six (Battlestar Galactica)

Anyone whose spine glows red during a three-way with Baltar and Xena is an instant winner in our book. And, my gods, she’s hot. I mean HOT. Yes, we totally see how Baltar became a party to the near-genocide of the human race for this woman. In fact, if anyone’s going to turn us straight it’s Six. And we’ll take any of them. Or better yet, several of them.

#2 - Hazel McNamara and Foxglove (Sandman)

We love so many things about this pair, who are just a hair’s breadth away from being the greatest lesbian characters in our favorite genres, but we mostly love how real they are. Hazel and Foxglove aren’t superhuman or extraordinary, but their lives are repeatedly intertwined with what neighbor Barbie’s former housemate Rose once referred to as “weird shit”. Watching their relationship progress over the life of the Sandman series was awesome in the early 90’s when authentic LGBT characters in comics were unheard of. But the real treat was their center-stage involvement in the two Death spinoff series. Kudos, Mr. Gaiman, and thank you for the many years of terrific lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans characters!

#1 - Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Oh, like you’re surprised. After taking second place here, we’re so excited to give Willow a long-deserved #1 position in one of our many silly lists. Both computer geek AND mega-powerful witch, Willow rocks our world on so many levels we don’t know where to begin. She’s cute, she’s smart, she’s magic, she makes her own fun, and she can make her girlfriend float in the air during musical numbers about having sex. She even has an evil, sadistic dominatrix twin in another dimension (with hands in new places!) who was bisexual long before Willow met Tara. We’re so glad her adventures are continuing in the Buffy comics and look forward to being under her spell for years to come.

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If you haven’t seen it yet, head over to Dark Horse Presents on MySpace to read “Captain Hammer: Be Like Me”, a mini-comic preview for Joss Whedon’s Doctor Horrible’s Sing Along-Blog, starring Neil Patrick Harris, Nathan Fillion and Felicia Day.

Now the trailer we saw a couple of weeks ago is starting to make more sense!

[Via Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog Blog and Mary (Thanks, Mary!)]

Did you sit through every episode of Bionic Woman just for the slim hope that it might have a scene with Sarah Corvus?

Did you skip Battlestar Galactica episodes 318, 319, and 320 because you knew Starbuck wouldn’t be in them?

If so, you might be suffering from Katee Sackhoff Fanboy Syndrome. The only known cure for KSFS is watching any Katee-Sackhoff-related clips you can find online.

The non-gamers among us may have missed this Resistance 2 viral promo from last week, so in the interest of public health, I offer it here:

There are now a couple of videos up on the Resistance-related Project Abraham site. Oh, and the beeps you hear at the end of the first clip spell out “blackout” in Morse code. I wonder what that means.

Resistance 2 comes out for your PS3 this fall.

[Via GayGamer.net]

If you haven’t seen the trailer for the re-make of The Day the Earth Stood Still, have a look here:

Yes, you did just see Keanu Reeves as Klaatu and Jennifer Connelly as Helen Benson, though she’s a microbiologist this time around.

It’s interesting to see how trailers have changed in the last half-century. Here’s the 1951 original:

What do you all think? Will Keanu Reeves as Klaatu be just another entry in our list of worst cast roles, or is casting him as a monotone humanoid a stroke of genius?

Angry Puppy Fact of the Day: The Day the Earth Stood Still was based on “Farewell to the Master”, a short story by Harry Bates. I haven’t read it, but the synopsis makes it seem a lot more interesting than the original movie. If any of you have read it, join our new group at LibraryThing and give it a review.

Disclaimer: I do have a sense of humor and laugh at lots of stuff that makes fun of gays. Taken as a whole, we’re a very curious people.

But playing to boring stereotypes isn’t funny. It’s not offensive; it’s just not funny. For example, think of the old black-guys-dance-like-this-and-white-guys-dance-like-this routine, which I saw just last week on some late-night stand-up show. If that was ever funny, it’s really not funny anymore.

With that out of the way, go read “A Brief History of Gay Robots” at Radar Online, and let me know what you think in the comments.

For the lazy, here’s a sample of their qualifications for being “gay”.

C3PO
“The fussy drone’s permanently agog eyes suggest a certain feyness.”

HAL 9000
He’s “prone to queeny fits of jealousy and rage.”

Data
He’s rated as “bi”, but it’s not clear for what reason. Possibly because he likes S&M and has a cat?

The worst offense is putting Bender on the list (rated “steak and beer”, which I guess means “straight”) without mentioning The Gender Bender!