Our Ten Favorite Gay Geeks
Finally! Our two favorite g-words collide in one marvelous list! Here, now, for the first time ever is the list of our ten all-time favorite gay geeks. As always, please vote on your favorites and tell us who we missed in compiling this geek-tastic oeuvre!
#10 - Daffyd Thomas (Little Britain)
The only gay in the village is large enough to equal three gay geeks. The curious thing about Daffyd, deplorable wardrobe aside, is that he’s the only misfit on this list who appears to have carefully engineered his own outsider status. Our favorite Daffyd moment is, of course, his failed attempt to attend the local gay Trekkie meeting, when he chases off the competition so he can maintain his virtual gay throne. Our only complaint is that he doesn’t like DS9:
#9 - Velma Dinkley (Scooby Doo)
Velma, like Xena and Snagglepuss, is one of those characters who we all know is gay, even though it’s never been officially addressed. We adore Velma, the brains of the original Scooby gang, as much for her genius at building half-assed, ineffective monster traps as for her uncompromising fashion sense. I mean, it takes a lot of balls to pull off a giant shapeless orange turtleneck sweater and miniskirt combo. Jinkies!
#8 - Lotte Schwartz (Being John Malkovich)
Remember Cameron Diaz under all that hair and frumpy shapeless clothing? That was Cameron as Lotte the animal-lover geek and mousy victim of an unfaithful husband (who, incidentally, spent far too much time in someone else’s head). Poor Lotte. All she wanted out of life was to support her little menagerie of rescued critters. She had no intention of getting caught up in all that brain-invading business. But things ended very well for her, which is partly why we love that movie so damn much! Oh, why can’t our geek lives lead to raising strange children with Catherine Keener?
#7 - Lamar Latrell (Revenge of the Nerds)
Lee says: Lamar is the first gay character I remember seeing and being aware that he was gay. And I had one of those Michael Jackson jackets too. Coincidence?
These same skills later lead us all to vote NO ON 15!
#6 - Chuck Noblet (Strangers with Candy)
It’s clearly behoovy to mention that, even though the last episode of Strangers With Candy premiered in October 2000, we still can’t stop saying “behoovy,” the word coined by Stephen Colbert’s Chuck Noblet in the series finale. Chuck, the nemesis to everyone’s favorite stupid junkie whore, thinks he’s the big shot in control of every situation, including his secret love affair with Mr. Jellineck. Sadly though, Chuck’s as big of a geeky failure as the rest of the faculty, but we love his take on education. Sadly though, Chuck’s as big of a geeky failure as the rest of the faculty. But we love his take on education. In the second scene of this clip, Chuck shares his thoughts on John F. Kennedy’s assassination:
#5 - Waylon Smithers (The Simpsons)
Gotta love collector geeks! If we had space in our apartment, we’d cheerfully turn over a room to Buffy memorabilia. We’re already worried about where the Gallery of Gay Action Figures is going to end up if it keeps growing. Waylon’s hooked up, though. He’s got a house full of Malibu Stacy collectibles and is president of the Malibu Stacy Fan Club; all this despite his assertion that women and sea men don’t mix. Plus, he’s handy with computers and knows how to animate and program naked screen savers of his boss!
#4 - Andrew Wells (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
One of our earlier lists re-sparked the ongoing debate about Andrew’s sexuality over on Whedonesque, in which Joss himself jumped in seemingly disputing the lead argument in the Andrew-is-straight, um, argument. At the risk of rekindling that debate again (we know… too late) we honor Andrew with the #4 slot. When it comes to geekness Andrew wins hands down in the pointless geek knowledge division. Typical Andrew line: “Man, this place gives me the creeps. It’s like in Wonder Woman, issue 297–299.”
#3 - Dr. Toshiko Sato (Torchwood)
We loved actress Naoko Mori as the supergeeky Sarah in Ab Fab, especially after Patsy drove her insane in the later seasons. But even better is Mori’s performance as Torchwood’s bisexual techie geek, Tosh. If we were making this list before season 2, we’d probably rank her lower. But recent episodes, including her fascinating origin story, rocketed her up to number three.
#2 - Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
We’re thinking more early,computer-geek Willow than post-goth, wiccan Willow, and somewhere in the middle of that transition was the adorable geek-lesbian Willow. Willow’s a cool geek, because in her words she “makes her own fun”. What anyone thinks about that really is irrelevant to her. Plus, she has those adorable outfits. Remember the colorful cardigans when she was working the quirky hipster look? We’re so under your spell but somehow we have a feeling that, even if you were a real person, it just wouldn’t work out. Sigh…
#1. Brian and Steve (The Sarah Silverman Program)
We may aspire to be as cool as Willow but deep in our hearts, we know we’re Brian and Steve (except we don’t play Dungeons & Dragons, neither of us likes Tab, and we REALLY hate The Spin Doctors). They’re not just our favorite gay geeks, they may be our all-time favorite gay characters because they’re so wonderfully real and likable, and because their gayness really doesn’t matter at all. We love their commitment to gaming and their obsessions with stupid geeky things, and their geek friends are awfully fun too. Brian and Steve, we’re TOTALLY gay for you.
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April 18th, 2008 at 7:28 am
My vote goes to Brian & Steve and to Other.
Nick Frost & Simon Pegg may not be a real gay couple, but their geeky characters always have so much gay chemistry together that their movies don’t need any token sexual minorities.
April 18th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Brian and Steve kick ass! It is nice to have gay men in a show that are not talking fashion and that look like toothpicks. The characters are guys that I would hang out with.
April 21st, 2008 at 3:11 am
Great list, although I have a theory about Velma. I don’t think she technically has a sexuality but rather reproduces asexually through budding, thus explaining Daria, her counter-culture clone who appears twenty years later on MTV.
April 21st, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Yes! Yes! Could Janeane Garofalo have somehow been created by mutation?
April 25th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
What about Data from ST:TNG (Tasha Yar was a fluke, and he was drunk!)?
April 26th, 2008 at 7:31 am
One would think that an android would be bi, but aside from his penchant for the arts and the cat obsession was he really that gay?